you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
