you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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