I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
