Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
