winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Found the puke drawer
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
