we have officially lost it.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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