Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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