I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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