I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
