i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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