The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
