but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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