I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
