yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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