Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
