i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
