Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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