if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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