This girl is more easily done than said...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
