how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
