bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
