unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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