I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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