I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
