Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
