Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
