he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
