Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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