why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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