Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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