I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
