I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
