I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
