We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
