Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
