Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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