we have officially lost it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
