Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
