I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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