No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
