so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
