I looked at my own cervix.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
