My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
