yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
