I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
