I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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