She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
