Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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