OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
