i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
