The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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