I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
